Monday, June 02, 2008
Ego, etc.
(Note: I chose this handsome photo of the American President, ...
I'm at home today, sick in bed.
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This next bit is just a continuation of my last post regarding the vastness of the universe...
My ego tries to tell me, "I hold this truth to be self-evident: That I am the center of the universe." If your ego says the same to you, then my ego can understand your error, but knows nevertheless that your ego is mistaken. Your ego is near the center of the universe, because it's relatively near mine, and relatively like mine, compared to a pebble on Mars, or a sea of liquid methane on a distant planet orbiting a distant star in a distant galaxy, or the distant galaxy itself, or the empty space on the other side of it. But your ego is definitely not the actual center; Mine is. It tells me so.
In defense of this ego, I will say that it is only doing what comes naturally to it. The ego is a naturally-evolved feature of any human being. But an ego can be inflated or deflated, mature or immature, subordinate or tyrannical, tamed or inflamed. (I observe that I am partly the product of a culture of inflated ego that aims to inflame.)
The "I am the center of the universe" ego message is silly... and also insane... and globally destructive... and kind of the root of pretty much all evil for us.
If you don't recognize yourself, your own ego, in the "I am the center of the universe" statement, if you think you don't share at least some substantial fraction of the egotistical hubris I am describing, there are two possible explanations. One is that you are just innately way more enlightened and humble than most of humanity. The other is that you're so completely immersed in the egoic illusion that you can't see it. Just like fish don't really see the water, or we don't really see the air... but it is the medium in which we live and breathe.
But of course most anyone reading this will recognize what I'm talking about. It isn't that complex, or insanely profound. It's just not what most people focus on most of the time. I hope I don't give the (egotistical) impression of thinking that I am a great & original philosopher. I am a thoughtful person, with a natural interest in trying to see beyond the surfaces and illusions of things... despite being also quite into my senses, my life here on earth, my explorations in the world of form (business, music, travel, film, etc). Even my interest in philosophy/spirituality/improving consciousness has practical underpinnings. These things can show me ways to live and behave that are happier, or more beautiful, or more profitable, etc. I actually get bored with philosophy really fast when I don't see a practical application or purpose to it. And my best ideas are mostly borrowed or synthesized from other sources. I guess I can take some credit for sifting through and discarding a fair amount of mud (bullshit) in search of the gems, but that's about it.
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My excellent assistant, Amy, who has been working with me for 3 1/2 years now, is wrapping up her assignment. The plan when she took the job was for her to finish a spiritual counseling credential while working with me, and then get her private practice started. All has gone according to plan, and she cut back to 4 days a week, then 3, and now she has reached the takeoff point. Working together has been a great chapter for both of us. We have become quite close. Although she held the official title of Assistant, unofficially I think I've been her #1 spiritual counseling client. She helped me to stay relatively sane and growing/expanding during some challenging and expansive times.Amy often comments on how much she has loved her job working with me and my company. Neither of us expects our connection to end, but it is transitioning to a new phase as she is taking the reins of her own new enterprise. She is a talented and powerful leader in her own right, doing seminars and private counseling, and I expect we'll see some books from her, and who knows what else. For her to have spent 3+ years working somewhere as seemingly worldly and arguably perverted as a kinky sex toy company was perhaps an unlikely detour for Amy, but her interest in people, her inclination to be of service, and her personal support/allegiance for me made it work.
Amy also took on the job of finding her own replacement, and the result was a selection of 4 candidates for me and Mike to interview. It was an impressive group, and any of the 4 we talked to could've done a fine job. We expect to make an offer to the next assistant shortly. There's no replacing Amy, but fortunately there's no need to do so. The next person will be more about practical business details, and will work a little less with me and a little more with Mike. I expect I will continue turning to Amy for the soul support aspects, and I know she gets some of that from me as well.
A series of key people have left the company in the last 15 months, mostly as a result of positive individual developments similar to what has happened with Amy. But it has added up to a fair number. Noted departures were our Operations Manager, Heather B, our Marketing Director, Juli, our HR Coordinator Amy R, and now my assistant Amy P. To add to that, during that time we've actually had 3 turnovers of our main bookkeeper, and Joey, our Production Manager, has relocated to San Francisco, where he is still playing a key role in the company, but in a different way from a different place. All these key transitions have presented challenges, and resulted in some loss of tribal knowledge and cohesion. Although I came to see long ago that an enterprise like this one need not see itself as dependent on any one person for its success, its growth, or its spirit, seeing so many people leave in succession gave me some cause for worry. But new people have stepped in, most notably our President, Mike, and he seems to have a pretty good track record so far with the people he's recruiting. The company has once again shown me that it has a life and a soul of its own; It is surviving, adapting, and still growing/evolving.
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I got a comment recently pointing out that I have been promising literally for years now to put links to my music up on this blog, and I still haven't. Sorry about that. I did actually create a MySpace music profile earlier this year, and loaded one song onto it. When I went back to load more, the profile had been deleted by MySpace. I'm not sure why that happened; Maybe because there was just one song on there, followed by a period of inactivity. I'm not a major MySpace fan now, as they have also deleted the profile for Stockroom.com, which had many thousands of "friends," and the profiles for a few of our other sites as well. I guess MySpace (now owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp) doesn't care for adult content. I'm sure if we'd read the fine print in their Terms Of Service documentation, instead of just looking at what everyone else seemed to be doing and getting away with, this might've been less of a surprise. Oh well.
Anyway, as far as posting music is concerned, my music "career" is happening on the side, and it's a slow-moving thing, because I have so much other stuff going on, plus I'm perfectionistic, and reluctant to "release" work that's not quite done, plus in the interim I've realized I need to get the copyrights in perfect order prior to or shortly after releasing anything, and that's a chore too. So, my apologies for not delivering on my promises so far, but I still will, in due course, barring unforeseen calamity.
